that feeling when you simply can't make up your mind

What would you do? I mean, when you're between two choices, and it's just really hard to pick which one. Maybe it's not as hard for some of you, I should just choose either one. But I'm well known among my family for being an "over-thinker" (okay, so now I'm starting to make up a word that doesn't even exist).

Anyway, yes, I do think about things a little bit too much, especially when it comes to making decisions. I just really want to make sure that I've looked at both sides thoroughly and there's nothing I've missed, so that I can make the best decision. But sometimes, because I think too much (and take a lot of time at that), eventually one of the two choices is gone. And so I will end up with one choice.

Sometimes, the choice that I'm left with is the best one, but who knows, maybe the other one is better. See what I did there? I "overthink" again. It's annoying but I can't seem to get rid of it. Not this easily, at least. And it gets even more frustrating when you have to make quick decision--like this one. I have two options and I have to make up my mind fast. I mean, I can't tell these choices to "give me time" and "wait" now, can I? Time waits for nobody. GAH.

So this is not about what you think it's about. I don't think it's even close to that. Whatever that is. I just don't want to take the liberty of pointing out every single details of my life here, even though I'm kind of doing it right now. But anyway, I have two options up for grab in my hands right now: one, is to take a leap in something that I've never done in my entire life before. two, is to stay stuck in this state of mind until God knows when.

For a second there, I'm really considering to take the second option. The safer one. I could just easily choose to live another few months/years of my life doing and having the same routines over and over again, since I'm starting to think that this state of mind I'm talking about is becoming more of a habit than anything else. But if I did, oh God, I can't even imagine what would happen to me...... I would probably be screwed, even worse than academically screwed (that was my Year 12 alter-ego talking). But then again, what if the option that I didn't choose is actually the best one?

Okay, that leaves us (or in this case, me) with option numero uno. Taking a leap. Have I done that before? No. And if I do, will I be scared? No. I will be terrified. Not that I'm exaggerating, but it really takes me quite some time to adjust myself to new surroundings. Especially the ones that I'm not familiar with--like this one. I don't know what will happen to me if I choose to jump. What if when I did, I wasn't happy? What if it turned out to be a mistake? What if I end up asdfghjklbmnasdu? I can't even imagine. This is just something really new to me. I don't even know why my past-self decided to take a chance and prepare to jump like this.

It all comes down to the main question, which options are you going to pick? The answer is still unknown. God knows when I will choose between these two stuffs. I definitely need more time to think about this over again, especially since this is pretty big. I really don't want to end up disappointing myself, let alone the people around me. But what I do know is that I have got to make up my mind quick. And by quick, I mean real soon.

Whichever decision I will eventually choose, all I know is that it all comes down to this:

.... I don't even know why I suddenly upload this picture. This post doesn't even relate to New York or my dream of going there. I'm just rambling stuffs here. So sorry for making you read this. Umm I guess the only thing left to say is, toodles!